Whale Wars

I’ve watched a few episodes of Whale Wars on Animal Planet and now I’m hooked. It’s available On Demand so I’ll be catching up on the first season. The show follows a group of people that go out and try to stop Japanese whalers by any means necessary… except death. Seriously, they need to either commit whole-heartedly to the cause or recognize that they’re being cowards.

The captain of the ship likes to order people around and question their aptitude and commitment on a regular basis. He loves to exercise apparent suicidal tactics which include ramming the Japanese boats at high speeds and sending some of his men to board the ship and get captured as hostages. The key note is *some of his men*, you think he’ll martyr himself? Fuck no, he’s not stupid.

The show is filled with drama but I prefer it because of the unintentional comedy. The guy tells the crew before they set sail that it’s a dangerous job and that they have to be prepared for potential injury and the risk of death is very real. Not that death will always be accidental, but that they have to be ready to give their lives to save the whales if need be. Of course nobody asks the obvious question: will the whales do the same for me??

The lead guy shrugs off questions he’s been asked before, is it worth dying to save whales? He responds that it’s a very good cause and he doesn’t see it absurd to send someone on a potential death mission to save a whale. It’s hard to not draw parallels of this guy with a cult leader. He’s got a group of secluded willing participants who will do what he says when he gives the order, like boarding a Japanese boat unarmed with the very likely possibility of being skinned alive themselves. The Japanese are of course hostile, these idiots have been throwing stink bombs on their decks… did they think they would be greeted with open arms? No, those fools got tied up and tortured.

Aside from the obvious life hierarchy where whales are clearly at the top, would the whalers be at the bottom of the totem poll? They’re already throwing shit at the boats and boarding them, might as well go all out vigilante style and invest in a turret. If they’re really serious about stopping them then they need to get strapped, the whales are at risk. Blow up the boats to negate the profit of whaling. Leave no witnesses, sink the ships and blame it on a storm. Nobody would be able to prove otherwise. With the level of commitment these volunteers have, it wouldn’t be hard to get someone to board the Japanese boat with an explosive vest.

That’s how we would roll if I were on board that bitch. That’s a dope ass plan, it’s hard to be humble sometimes.