Whale Wars – Season 2

4 Stars
Whale Wars

Season 2 of Whale Wars has one of the most dramatic premier episodes you’ll see. It was the first episode I saw of this show and I was hooked from the beginning. It’s unique and interesting, they show you ships crashing into eachother, deck people throwing shit at the other ship, whales getting harpooned… pretty intense shit. Obviously they made the episode this way to grab your attention and try to have you stick around for the rest of the season.

Every episode is pretty much uneventful until some dramatic twist at the end of the hour. I ask myself why I keep watching and the answer is that I’m very much entertained either way. Yet it’s probably not in the way it’s intended to be. With each episode I watch I gradually begin to favor the Japanese whalers instead of the Sea Shepherds. It’s not only because the Steve Irwin is comprised of a group of ugly ass people that seldom shower, but also because they have a pretentious and elitist outlook on their ’cause’. They’re also hypocritical to the core. They do shit like throw bottles of butyric acid (glorified stink bombs) on Japanese decks, board their ships, ram their boats, fire flares at the crew, lay out a big ass rope to tie up the ship’s propeller, contemplate boarding ships and disabling communication devices, contemplate attacking a ship while it’s looking for a lost man at sea… and I say ‘contemplate’ because most of these ideas are never carried out due to their overwhelming incompetence. The justification of these acts? “It’s a war out here and there will be casualties.”

Ramming ships

Yet when the Japanese strike back the Sea Shepherds start crying like pussies. As a group of hippies in an inflatable raft get close enough to the Japanese ship (the Yushin Maru) to throw bottles of butyric acid, the Japanese go on the defensive and shoot them with water cannons and throw fist sized copper nuts leaving the fools dazed and bruised. The Japanese also have an LRAD device that emmits focused audio waves that can disorient people and possibly induce seizures. They point it at the rafts and even the fuckin’ chopper, likely with the hopes that it will crash and burn hahaha! The pilot said something about his legs feeling weak and he got the fuck up out of there. Cut to a video of a rat-looking skinny guy saying they crossed the line and “I can’t believe they’re trying to hurt us”. Are you fucking serious? I can’t believe they don’t have sniper rifles yet, they’re just trying to whale and keep getting interrupted by you annoying fools. Also, any time the Sea Shepherds encounter any sort of resistance they immediately phone the media to ‘snitch them out’. What is this, the playground? Like it’s a push and shove game but as soon as someone goes a bit rough these guys run to the nearest adult to complain. And they call themselves ‘pirates’….

Shotting the water cannons

Even though it’s a type of documentary show, it doesn’t show the full story. The Japanese whalers are a faceless evil opponent. They should do a counter show, with cameras on their decks documenting their side of the story. It would be called “Deadliest Catch: The Yushin Maru”. Episodes would range from guys freezing their asses off on the deck, looking for whales, “oh shit here come the crazy white people!”. Then there could also be character development-type shots of them lounging around eating and having a good time when all of a sudden butyric acid bottles come flying in and making everything smell like ass.

...except they kill crabs

Speaking of ‘Deadliest Catch’, how fucking ironic is it that this show is about trying to stop whaling because the animals being killed are “sentient beings” yet on commercial breaks they’re pimping “Deadliest Catch”? Those white guys are doing the same as the Japanese whalers, except instead of whales it’s a shitload of crabs in a cage. How is this acceptable? Because we’re in a country where fish and crabs are acceptable foods then this is okay? Japanese people love to eat whale so that’s what they hunt. We don’t, so that makes it ‘wrong’? Or is it that whales are valuable and crabs are worthless creatures?

The solution to these disagreements can only be solved one way: make the Sea Shepherds eat whale meat. That must taste hella good if the Japanese are that crazy over it. Then they might have a change of heart.

Whaling is the same shit as the beef industry in the US. Cows in farms basically as prisoners destined to go to the slaughter house. What kind of life is that? Makes me sad. Yet when environmentalists try to stop it and get rid of the industry my biggest question is “fool, have you eaten beef“?? That shit’s bomb! It’s a necessary evil. My guess is that it’s the size of the animal. Doing research from sources other than this show gives me a better perspective of things. It reminds me of the reason why I was interested in the show in the first place, something about the pic below just feels wrong to me. So I guess I agree with the Sea Shepherd’s goal, I just don’t like the actual people.

Whale being cleaned

Final Thoughts

The season finale was a bad ass episode and had everything that I wanted to see. It’s a continuation of the first episode and the Sea Shepherds really got into it with the Japanese fleet. The production on this show is awesome and it really shows on the last episode. The music and fast cutting of video shots gives a good sense of urgency. It’s the editing that makes episodes where they mostly question how much fuel they have left entertaining, so now that there’s real action things got pretty intense. I’m looking forward to season 3.

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Rating: 3.5/5 (8 votes cast)
Whale Wars - Season 2, 3.5 out of 5 based on 8 ratings

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